innocent bystander //a weblog

Detail of original by glockgal.  Click on image to see her work!

Friday, November 07, 2003

2:36 AM: 

i'm knitting a scarf in the most atrocious color ever. the label optimistically named it "winter fir" or something, but in reality, it's like a green version of teal. oy, i don't even know how much my sister bought this for. but when i asked her if there was any yarn she didn't want any more, she didn't hesitate to pull it out. but who am i going to give this to? whose neck will i blight with this color? oh, the options...

Thursday, November 06, 2003

3:12 AM: 

i just saw the matrix: revolutions, and it was good. more later, if i can wrap my head around it. : )

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

12:34 AM: 


My inner child is six years old today

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

12:28 AM: 

mmm, yes.... quizilla

You're Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was a young girl lost in a strange world.
When she was home all she wanted to do was
leave it and when she left all she wanted to do
was get back. Dorothy doesn't like to be a
nuisance but will speak her mind if she feels
strongly about a topic. She is very friendly
and headstrong.

What fantasy movie character are you? (images)
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

12:26 AM: 


that word's been glaring at me for several days now. a long time ago, i bought this thing called the observation deck, which is a deck of thought-provoking cards that's supposed to help get writers writing. it helps... when i remember to use it. but this time i swore i wasn't going to move to the next card until i used this card. so, o.k. dedicate...

the easy solution would be to ask: what do i dedicate my life to? answer: making the world better, if even a tiny bit. easy.

well here's something that's a little obscure: what's this web page dedicated to? hey, did you know that this page has been around since 2000? yep. there's a heckload of archives, but i don't link them in. maybe someday. er, what's this page dedicated to... it's called innocent bystander. this is after a seamus heaney poem called "mycenae lookout." at the beginning of a section named "cassandra," he says "no such thing as innocent bystanding." i agree, so when i named this weblog i went for the ironic twist and called it "innocent bystander". so there you have it.

one thing i never understand is why people would ever search a search engine for the term "innocent bystander". nonetheless, they do, and a handful of them come here every week. wierd, that. if any one of you would like to enlighten me, please feel free to e-mail. : )

Sunday, November 02, 2003

11:54 PM: 

the dalai lama says that if we become too attached to a person, our image of them becomes distorted. this happens both when we focus only on the good aspects of a person as well as when we focus only on the bad aspects of a person. it has a negative effect on our relationships.

i don't think he would approve of falling in love.

let me say first that i think falling in love is bunk anyways. it is to me in no way desirable. love is desirable. it is desirable to be loving. it is desirable to love. but to be in love is to be slave to a glorified picture, a misperception of a person. if they're sweeping you off your feet, you're not seeing right. if you're melting every time they walk into the room, you're not seeing right. if you're wilting when they're not around, thinking about them 24/7, seeing them everywhere you turn... well, you know the deal. i don't mean to say that this isn't really happening when it happens to you, but rather that it's not the optimal place to be. that having been said, i'm falling in it.

i've pulled his picture out of my photo album and put it on my desk. i've gone over all the memorable times between us in the last six years. i've turned around the question of him over and over in my mind. i'm not sure if he's right for me. i'm not sure if he likes me. but i can't do anything about it now; i have to approach this all slowly. i know it doesn't work out when you ask guys point-blank what the situation really is between yourself and them. and, certainly, i don't like it when it's asked of me. it's the heisenberg principle. observation changes the observed thing. if i asked, he could deny whatever is or isn't there. he could run. everything could disappear in a puff of smoke. so meanwhile, all that's left is wondering. but that wondering ferments, and becomes this in love thing. i'm fighting it. i'm fighting as hard as i can.

10:33 PM: 

hi, i feel bad for all y'all that are coming here because google indexed the the time i said that josh beckett was sexy. so as a public service, i'm going to do some drooling over him and stuff, so you can have gleaned some satisfaction from clicking to my humble page. you guys are making my stats look great, by the way!

i first noticed josh beckett a few months ago. i'm only a casual fan of baseball, although i like it better than any other professional sport. for some reason, my two younger sisters have totally gone gaga over it the last season and have been watching every single game. that's very trying when you want to watch something on cable, i'll tell you that! one day the marlins were playing and i noticed a pair of gorgeous eyes on the bench, and then up on the mound, pitching. who's that, i asked? my sis didn't know either, so we waited until they showed his backside. beckett. josh beckett. his parents were in the stands that night. i wanted to shake their hands. their son is that particular type of guy that looks 100% nice and all-american. maybe even corn-fed! he looks great in black. he's ridiculously tall. he's got that cute boy-face. whenever he pops up on the screen, i just want to reach out and give his cheek a pinch. i don't want to do anything else though, because he's five years younger than me. yes folks, that's where i draw the line. but i'm so happy for him now that he's an mvp and world-series champ. he's gonna be big, i tell ya, BIG! okay, i know that nobody needs to be told that anymore-- everyone already knows. in sum, i think i may be taking a bit more interest in baseball starting next spring. and now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

oh yeah, here are some josh links:

  1. the florida marlins, soon to be known as the miami marlins. huh???
  2. the marlins's fan forum
  3. his page on the marlins web site - has a nice summary of his doings!
  4. google images search results for "josh beckett"
  5. his cbs sportsline player profile - has a cute pic!
  6. his espn player profile - an even cuter pic here... love that smile!
  7. his sports illustrated player profile - josh tries to look serious and mean! he fails! :^D

12:29 AM: 

i just watched minority report. it was pretty good. the quality of it was actually surprising, considering stephen spielberg's previous movie effort, a.i. i wonder if he in any way saw minority report as a way to make up for that which was a.i. a.i. seemed like an awkward attempt on his part to rise above the legacy of his fluffy crowd-pleasers, e.t. and indiana jones. it was a jerky frankenstein ('s monster) of a movie that sort of tried for kubrickian relevance (if you believe kubrick is relevant. i won't demand that out of anyone. i hate film snobs.), but instead failed and was really just a cartoony, "look Ma!" sci-fi film that insulted everyone's intelligence. whether they realized theirs was being insulted or not.

minority report, on the other hand, was a film you could take seriously, where you'd gasp at something and know that you'd be seeing that scene again in your dreams... or nightmares. i really appreciated the homages to other sci-fi greats. there was the prominent use of classical music and the blue color theme... both very 2001. and the first shot of the crow apartment felt like a flashback to blade runner. i really felt like i'd gotten into the minds and learned the motivations of all of the characters, and that's one of my personal hallmarks for a great film. the film is that good when you feel like you've been those people for the last two hours. i felt that here.


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