My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
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You're Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was a young girl lost in a strange world.
When she was home all she wanted to do was
leave it and when she left all she wanted to do
was get back. Dorothy doesn't like to be a
nuisance but will speak her mind if she feels
strongly about a topic. She is very friendly
and headstrong.

What fantasy movie character are you? (images)
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that word's been glaring at me for several days now. a long time ago, i bought this thing called the observation deck, which is a deck of thought-provoking cards that's supposed to help get writers writing. it helps... when i remember to use it. but this time i swore i wasn't going to move to the next card until i used this card. so, o.k. dedicate...

the easy solution would be to ask: what do i dedicate my life to? answer: making the world better, if even a tiny bit. easy.

well here's something that's a little obscure: what's this web page dedicated to? hey, did you know that this page has been around since 2000? yep. there's a heckload of archives, but i don't link them in. maybe someday. er, what's this page dedicated to... it's called innocent bystander. this is after a seamus heaney poem called "mycenae lookout." at the beginning of a section named "cassandra," he says "no such thing as innocent bystanding." i agree, so when i named this weblog i went for the ironic twist and called it "innocent bystander". so there you have it.

one thing i never understand is why people would ever search a search engine for the term "innocent bystander". nonetheless, they do, and a handful of them come here every week. wierd, that. if any one of you would like to enlighten me, please feel free to e-mail. : )

i don't think he would approve of falling in love.

let me say first that i think falling in love is bunk anyways. it is to me in no way desirable. love is desirable. it is desirable to be loving. it is desirable to love. but to be in love is to be slave to a glorified picture, a misperception of a person. if they're sweeping you off your feet, you're not seeing right. if you're melting every time they walk into the room, you're not seeing right. if you're wilting when they're not around, thinking about them 24/7, seeing them everywhere you turn... well, you know the deal. i don't mean to say that this isn't really happening when it happens to you, but rather that it's not the optimal place to be. that having been said, i'm falling in it.

i've pulled his picture out of my photo album and put it on my desk. i've gone over all the memorable times between us in the last six years. i've turned around the question of him over and over in my mind. i'm not sure if he's right for me. i'm not sure if he likes me. but i can't do anything about it now; i have to approach this all slowly. i know it doesn't work out when you ask guys point-blank what the situation really is between yourself and them. and, certainly, i don't like it when it's asked of me. it's the heisenberg principle. observation changes the observed thing. if i asked, he could deny whatever is or isn't there. he could run. everything could disappear in a puff of smoke. so meanwhile, all that's left is wondering. but that wondering ferments, and becomes this in love thing. i'm fighting it. i'm fighting as hard as i can.

i first noticed josh beckett a few months ago. i'm only a casual fan of baseball, although i like it better than any other professional sport. for some reason, my two younger sisters have totally gone gaga over it the last season and have been watching every single game. that's very trying when you want to watch something on cable, i'll tell you that! one day the marlins were playing and i noticed a pair of gorgeous eyes on the bench, and then up on the mound, pitching. who's that, i asked? my sis didn't know either, so we waited until they showed his backside. beckett. josh beckett. his parents were in the stands that night. i wanted to shake their hands. their son is that particular type of guy that looks 100% nice and all-american. maybe even corn-fed! he looks great in black. he's ridiculously tall. he's got that cute boy-face. whenever he pops up on the screen, i just want to reach out and give his cheek a pinch. i don't want to do anything else though, because he's five years younger than me. yes folks, that's where i draw the line. but i'm so happy for him now that he's an mvp and world-series champ. he's gonna be big, i tell ya, BIG! okay, i know that nobody needs to be told that anymore-- everyone already knows. in sum, i think i may be taking a bit more interest in baseball starting next spring. and now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

oh yeah, here are some josh links:

1. the florida marlins, soon to be known as the miami marlins. huh???
2. the marlins's fan forum
3. his page on the marlins web site - has a nice summary of his doings!
4. google images search results for "josh beckett"
5. his cbs sportsline player profile - has a cute pic!
6. his espn player profile - an even cuter pic here... love that smile!
7. his sports illustrated player profile - josh tries to look serious and mean! he fails! :^D

minority report, on the other hand, was a film you could take seriously, where you'd gasp at something and know that you'd be seeing that scene again in your dreams... or nightmares. i really appreciated the homages to other sci-fi greats. there was the prominent use of classical music and the blue color theme... both very 2001. and the first shot of the crow apartment felt like a flashback to blade runner. i really felt like i'd gotten into the minds and learned the motivations of all of the characters, and that's one of my personal hallmarks for a great film. the film is that good when you feel like you've been those people for the last two hours. i felt that here.