innocent bystander //a weblog
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peter makes my head pound whenever he walks by. we're in russian 1 together; he introduced himself to me as class let out on the very first day. and at the time i had been so dazed that i made meaningless small talk with him straight down the long corridor of the c building of pasadena city college, out across the quad, and up to the student store before it even crossed my mind that it wasn't exactly kosher to attempt any sort of lust-fueled abduction of him, i mean, that's not the kind of thing that i do.
half of it alone is his swagger. it's pure self-confident machismo. the boy is on top of the world and nothing could stand in his way, oh no. problems, obstacles don't exist in his world. oh, to be so innocent again - it's a thing i have lost. he walks around with his chest stuck out just so and spikes his short black hair up neatly. just like a rooster, he's king of his domain, he's one-hundred percent testosterone.
and oh, his accent. belarus has produced no finer specimen, and to hear english or russian roll off his tongue so richly makes me grin in stupid delight if i let myself think about it to much. so i try not to, at least not in class, where i might grin, then blush because i'm grinning, and then blush because i'm blushing.
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i am so proud of my brother. today his good friend returned from an absence of over a year, during which he had gotten deep into drugs and then climbed back out, only to be hospitalized for psychotic symptoms. his mother took his car away from him because she was afraid of where he might drive with it. he is, i can tell, shaken and lost. sometimes my brother gets angry, very angry, and sometimes he holds burning grudges that don't die. but after an hour of talking, as his friend was being picked up by his mother, he said, "call me anytime if you need a ride." |
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the macintosh... inspired by pot? |
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U! C! L! A! |
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it's official:
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This is my blogchalk:
United States, California, Alhambra, English, Chinese, Jean, Female, 26-30,
current events, books, music, movies, technology, being a g.d. mac user.