Monday, February 04, 2002
revenge is in the small things. the three years i worked at my college newspaper were among the most terrible of my life. there my ego was ripped to shreds, stomped on, and dropped into different vats of acid depending on the explosive moods of one asshole who clawed his way to editor-in-chief as a second-year. it was no small task in a newspaper that took itself extremely seriously, a newspaper for which most staffers would drop all classes except one two-unit class, so they might devote all their time to reporting while technically remaining students. a newspaper that has scooped the los angeles times. a newspaper that took giddy delight in the so-called exploits of its investigative journalism team. a newspaper like that.
everyone was a type a personality there, or at least you would think it to walk into the office, dominated by blowhards and hardasses the way it was. and i most assuredly was not. am not. i and the other normals spent most of our time cowering behind partitions, i think. and eventually i left for other student media departments that were more laid back. but looking at the ol' paper's alumni site, all the fear and suffocation comes rushing back, and i cringe clicking on the links to people's names, names of the asshole i hated and names of other semi-assholes i also hated, all of them for their arrogance. you would think they were the first on the scene with a reporter's notepad at god's creation of the world. well anyways, their lives aren't so great. some of them are lawyers, some working in politician's offices, one is a mid-level manager, and another is going to school to become an event planner, which is sort of odd. and i find that i don't really care. even the ones that are discernibly doing better than me don't bother me, because, i think, i'm finally happy with my laid-back, non-confrontational self. i'm happy with where i am in my career, and i'm happy now that i have a plan (developed recently) for where i'm going. academia. grad school. it's what i plan to do. i'll get a ph.d., and see what happens next. and so long as i have enough money for a car and the occasional trip to europe, i think it'll be enough. and mr. asshole? i found out tonight that he lives not far from my apartment in west l.a., on a block too shabby for me to ever have rented on.