innocent bystander //a weblog

Detail of original by glockgal.  Click on image to see her work!

Saturday, February 10, 2001

12:47 AM: 

i told zach at work today that peter had no free will. so, that, too.

12:45 AM: 

help me i am in hell.

fold me like butter
fold me like cream
blend me in what you are

Sunday, February 04, 2001

6:56 PM: 

should follow weeks one, two and four in their become a love goddess in 30 days lesson. *knowing nod*

6:53 PM: 

which goddesses am i? according to ivillage i am: 33% athena, 33% aphrodite, 16% demeter, 8% persephone, 8% artemis, and 0% hestia and hera.

6:43 PM: 

peter. there was always something hard about him, unyielding. single-minded and cruel. i saw it sometimes when he was with his friends. i saw it whenever he played at something competitive. i am thinking of these things again because it has been seven months since i last spoke to him and i really need to get the rest of my things out of his apartment. i realized today a big reason why we could never resolve our conflicts was because he had such a huge breadwinner complex— the moment i even hinted something was wrong, he figured he'd utterly failed to be the man in the relationship, the provider. figuring he'd failed my needs, he panicked, panicked, and did all sorts of crazy things. i momentarily wondered if, had i known this was the problem, our relationship might have been salvaged. but no. never. no.

back then, i would hide from turmoil. soon i felt buried.

4:39 PM: 

went to a club called giant last night. my friends and i haven't done this in so long... dinner at 9, arrive at the club at 12, stand in line until 1:30, sleep at 5! it was lots of fun. very hot inside. lots of people on X. that was okay. everyone very nice.


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Image detail of original by glockgal