innocent bystander //a weblog

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Friday, December 15, 2000

11:54 AM: 

turmoil at work. people saying they will leave if they don't like the new person they are working for. this affects me. i am too used to this— was merely happy when i realized i wasn't getting fired.

i had to fuck three people before i figured out what sex was about.

and she gave him shelter
somewhere i know she knows
somewhere i know she knows
some things only she knows
From Salon:
Consider something further: In many of these moments, a far more significant penetration will have occurred than even the penis knocking on the back wall of the womb. And that is falling in love, the most turbulent penetration. It is having a feeling for another person that alters your sense of self. For it is my own experience, and my hunch, that the young human being has extraordinary difficulty having sex with anyone without being in love. You see, at 12 or 14 or so, life can be so tormenting, so hard, that the need for peace and sharing is as great as the yearning for an orgasm.

...You see, the things called "sex" and "penetration" are going on, and are starting early. You know there is no stopping them, because somehow you yourself seized some moment. But the practitioners can be helped. And they may be taught that sex and love are not spoiled by skill, by tendresse, by curiosity and by the acquired habit of talking about it before and afterward.*

and... YESS!...
My simple question to her is: Why are you a Catholic? A religion is a body of belief that is said to be ordained by God. Subscribing to a particular religion requires a mindset of acceptance based on faith. Logical criticism of a religion's tenets is NOT consistent with religious belief -- it is rational thinking, which is incompatible with faith.**

Thursday, December 14, 2000

4:45 PM: 

der wort das tag ist "pullulate." es ist wunderbar toll!

11:11 AM: 

<disclaimer>i have these patented rants which nobody but i understand. here is one now.</disclaimer>

daddy's girls. of daddy's girls, mama's boys, regular girls and boys, mama's girls, and daddy's boys, daddy's girls, when they have nothing left to lose, have got to be the most dangerous. women with nothing to lose being more dangerous in general, because when they're that way, they have even less than men with nothing to lose. get it? because even if you take everything away from a man, he's still a man with all the consideration this malicious world gives them. and daddy's girls have nothing. daddy's not around and he was always ambivalent about how much he loved them anyway. he is father, lover, God to them, and what do you do when you lose all three?

well, you could go apeshit on your coworker and try to steal her job.

10:08 AM: 

only sometimes do we have the chance to forget the weight of our worries. some people really blossom then. and the rest of the time they are fearful, sad.

i guess i will have to excuse the dr. brothers person. feeling more sympathetic today.

Wednesday, December 13, 2000

5:32 PM: 

how weak-minded is this dr. joyce brothers correspondent?
Dear Dr. Brothers: All these Santas are making me nervous and angry. I feel I'm being pressured into doing things I don't want to do — buying presents, wearing a happy face and mouthing cliches. Any suggestions that might make things better?

Tuesday, December 12, 2000

4:15 PM: 

what to do? my coworker is suddenly referring to my project as her project. she's answering questions directed to me in meetings. she's offering to do work that i was supposed to do. and i am swamped, so she is getting it. which gives her even more of an excuse to say that my project is her project. and that lets her in to more meetings. where she has more opportunities to spread misinformation and pretend to know it all. do you see what i'm getting at here?

she has also just today come to me and said, i don't want you to feel that i'm taking your project away from you. is she crazy? of course she's taking my project away from me. how could it be anything else? what can i possibly say or do to stop that? isn't taking my project away from me what she intends to do? does she want me to feel better about this? how am i supposed to feel better about it?


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