innocent
bystander //a weblog
Friday, August 18, 2000
11:58 AM:
ALLright i got this off the blogger front page. i'm weak! i admit it!
opensewer - a community addressing the question: how do we live in the world?
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11:51 AM:
mental breakthrough: i was sitting in a meeting this morning and weighing the improbity of a co-worker. blissfully unaware that my hands of judgement were tightening around her moral neck, she smiled, answered questions, and seemed perfectly content with the world. how dare she exist happily, i thought, when she is completely incompetent in her work. when her incompetence forces me to work twice as hard. why must i gnaw my liver at the injustice of it all while she carries on with no outward perturbation. what is the victory in all this? a year ago i would just have hated her (and i have always hated people like her how can you not?) without knowing why. today, finally, i know why. i'm unhappy, i'm insecure and here i'd always thought i was just fundamentally wicked, or something.
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Tuesday, August 15, 2000
6:27 PM:
this web page was shocking in its audacity:
quin's web page
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4:15 PM:
i've concluded that breaking up is a bloodsport. in an exercise of this new observation i called up peter last night and raked him over some hot coals for a good 60 minutes. then i went to sleep. one part of my conscience felt worse; another, better. i mean maybe i wouldn't do it again. but i felt i had to do it then.
strange how people find ways to do violence to themselves. my designated lust object did one of those mid-day haircuts. the ones where your co-workers show up looking like one thing in the morning, and appear later looking like something completely else. the haircut is awful. i am disturbed.
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This is my blogchalk:
United States, California, Alhambra, English, Chinese, Jean, Female, 26-30,
current events, books, music, movies, technology, being a g.d. mac user.
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