innocent bystander //a weblog

Detail of original by glockgal.  Click on image to see her work!

Saturday, June 24, 2000

3:53 AM: 

ok, the following is explicit, but potentially funny.

a few minutes ago i received this over icq:

Very attractive white man...very hot looking and very kinky minded...I would love to meet a woman who is looking for a great guy...BUT is also in need of a relationship where she free to enjoy other black men too. I am well hung myself but wish to watch her enjoy bigger and blacker cock. I am also bicurious and would like to join you and him too. Get back ONLY if interested.
and i wasn't shocked... wasn't even offended. but i was relieved, because this person had relieved me of the obligation to reply! this is how low my expectations have sunk!

oh yes, yesterday icq yielded me a proposition by a foot fetishist. now i remember why i log onto icq as "invisible".

Friday, June 23, 2000

11:31 PM: 

the comforting thing about all these webcams is that they show you how nasty everyone else's houses look. i don't mean filthy or dirty, but just badly decorated. such as with stained wood paneling on the walls, and imitation-antique looking dark wood clocks hung off them. i feel relieved, as i had been frustrated recently with my apartment... it's like wiry hair that refuses to be styled. this apartment refuses to look nice. but now i have some perspective on it all.

oh, now this other guy's webcam is catching him with his shirt off. but he looks underage.

ahh, i just signed up at

11:19 PM: 

so i just saw this guy in a webcam page and he looks alright. he lives in l.a. he, um, has a good career in computers, and, um...

10:43 PM: 

i'm worried, worried, worried. today i worried myself with worry, and now i feel positively sick. that is why i am going to give you this link to the best article about the recent two-faced kitten i've seen so far. be sure to read to the last line, which is a priceless closer.

Thursday, June 22, 2000

1:10 AM: 

california farmers are repackaging prunes as "dried plums". as if!

ad&d determined to be a powerful sex inhibitor. more powerful than maoi's?

12:42 AM: 

i made a new screen name today, GodOddish. and i wrote a song to go with it, to the tune of "head like a hole":

god oddish i'd do anything for you
god oddish just tell me what you want me to
god oddish throw me up against the wall
god oddish don't want Pokemon you want it all
no you can't take it
no you can't take it
no you can't take it away from me
head like a beet
one i could eat
but i'd never try to
because you're so cute
god oddish's not looking for the cure
god oddish's not concerned about the sick among the pure
god oddish let's go dancing on the back of Pikachu
god oddish's not one to choose
no you can't take it
no you can't take it
no you can't take that away from me
head like a beet
one i could eat
but i'd never try to
because you're so cute
bow down before the oddish god
all other Pokemon are flawed

alternate last lines:
bow down before the oddish god...
his spore attack i do applaud
his feet walk the forest all unshod
for him i'd start my own jihad
he is a beet not a seedpod
his hair is leaves not a pomade
he lives in forests and in sod
over your sad soul he will trod

The GodOddish Smiley Collection (c)2000 Jean M. Chen: (best viewed with a sans serif font)
Z:D     S:D     G:D     ZG:D     Q:D

Wednesday, June 21, 2000

11:48 PM: 

have you ever thought about playing vintage arcade games on your digital camera? what do you mean, "no"? do you realize how good Donkey Kong looks on an lcd screen? what about ms. pac man?

4:23 PM: 

let me see your thong...

my friend told me that somebody's underwear was hanging off the hook on the door of the middle stall in the front women's restroom at work. i just went to take a look and, ladies and gentlemen, it was not just a panty but a thong. i'll give you a moment to feel any shivers of shock, excitement, or whatever you're inclined to feel when people talk about thongs.

a disclaimer — i have nothing against thongs or the wearing of them, but you have to admit there is a certain extra salaciousness attached to a thong that does not adhere to panties that don't floss your buttcheeks. hence this post.

actually, if you're up for a little more commentary, of a more graphic nature (but somebody has to say these things!), click here.

Monday, June 19, 2000

1:11 AM: 

so where did what i was go, or better yet, why? what i really have lost these days is hope. i have no rage, and precious little faith left, to pushing me forward anymore. i don't know if i want to drum up either, ever again.

for years, more than i care to count, i was stoically uncaring about this crummy world. i wasn't going to drop a tear for it. i was going to make my own way, get what i wanted. then one day i thought i was safe enough away from the craziness to catch up with my heart. but now... i find that the two can't co-exist. the way it went was a lot like fight club:

            Go ahead, Cornelius.  You can cry.

They look at each other.  Slowly, Jack's eyes grow wet.

                        JACK (V.O.)
            Then... something happened.  I was
            lost in oblivion -- dark and silent
            and complete.

Bob pulls Jack's head back into his chest.  Jack tightens
his arms around Bob.

                        JACK (V.O.)
            I found freedom.  Losing all hope was

Jack pulls away from Bob.  On Bob's chest, there's a WET
MASK of Jack's face from how he looks weeping.

                        JACK (V.O.)
            Babies don't sleep this well.

crying is losing hope. but losing hope is not freedom. that is where cinema fails me: i don't sleep well.

12:54 AM: 

i have felt lately trapped. i don't have the energy to do much, and it's handy because not trying takes the burden off of trying and getting things accomplished. letting things slide is a sweet sort of bliss. but it's one where you toss and turn sometimes at night, wondering what happened to the you that was. and that's me.


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